Christmas in Berkeley this year was very nice, though John and Kathy were indeed missed. It's nice to look back on the warm family time, especially because first few days home were so difficult: being so tired, still not feeling well from the gum surgery, and having so much to catch up on (because all I did right before going to Berkeley was the bare minimum).
The first few days home I still felt very tired, very grumpy because of my sore mouth, and upset at the ways I'd messed up because of trying to travel right after the mouth surgery. The first day back I had three commitments scheduled, and was so exhausted by the time I got home that I was in tears. I've gradually been trying to catch up.
Yesterday, the 4th, was my check-up appointment at the periodontist and I was finally given the okay to eat solid food (but not really crunchy stuff such as chips or nuts). It will be three more weeks before I'll be able to use the water pik, because it could still tear open all the places along the gum line which the laser cut into.
I felt a real lift when finally decorated my tree, two days after Christmas! I always get the most wonderful feeling of peace and happiness, just gazing at it.
So, back to the week of Christmas:
Wednesday the 21st was the day of the gum laser surgery, two hours of pretty extreme discomfort in the early morning. The only real pain were the anasthetic shots, (eight or so). One the other hand, the periodontist was the kind of person who inspired complete confidence. He explained the procedures as we went along...one of the things which was interesting was that the laser was used not only to cut down into the gums, but also to stimulate the bones, below the gum line, to regrow more bone.
Although I'd been told that it was okay to drive myself home, I was really glad that Dale Sr. had insisted on driving me, because the anesthetic made me feel really shaky. Poor guy, he'd thought he'd drop me off and go out to breakfast, but nothing was open at that hour, in that shopping center, but Taco Bell!
Having that much anesthetic seemed to give me semi-hallucinatory daydreams. I sat in the periodontist's chair, eyes closed, a group of people appeared in my thoughts and started changing shape, bulbous on their lower body moving up like a bubble to their center and chest, and then to large bobble-headed people. Another one I remember is a group of people sitting around a table and the face of one woman changed, going left to right, into a man's face....i.e. first the beard and mustashe and bushy eyebrows were only on the left, and slowly moved across the face until the entire face was a man's face, a rather frightening and greenish one at that. But it seemed comical....
The rest of the day I just lay in bed, taking prescription-strength Ibruprofen every six hours, and watched favorite old movie DVD's. The cold weather enhanced the feeling of being cosily ensconced in quilts. In the evening I did rouse myself to bring the tree in and set it up, re-filling the stand with water. Dale had brought me canned soups, which I pureed in the blender and then put through a sieve to make sure that the new wounds along most of the gum line could safely form clots. Both the stronger ibuprofen and the mouthwash were prescriptions which I'd been asked to fill before the surgery.
There was a lot to do on Thursday, as I'd be picked up by the SuperShuttle at 3 AM Friday. Packing, doing all the rest of the bills, etc. Each meal seemed to take about an hour: pureeing the soup, heating it up, putting it through a sieve, and washing all of those dishes so they'd be ready for the next meal. I never did get the tree decorated, and only ended up having a couple of hours sleep. I did sleep for an hour at the gate before the plane arrived (thanks to the travel alarm Madelyn gave me in the little net bag and my neck pillow) and I slept for the entire flight. I was really glad I had not checked baggage, because on arrival it took about an hour sitting with a cappuchino before I even felt like walking through the airport.
It was pouring rain, and I was really glad I'd added "large plastic bag" to my usual packing list. I've learned from experience that your average bag may be water-resistant, but they're not water-proof.
Usually I take the bus up the hill, but I was so wiped out I was really glad that Sandy was indeed able, because the care-giver had shown up that day, to come and get me from Andronico's. The groceries were ingredients for my liquid meals.
Mom's had developed a swollen ankle a week previously---and still had a lot of pain throughout her body. Sandy got her up for the party. If it hadn't been for the party, he said, he would have had her stay in bed. She looked much more tired than usual, but it seemed to do her good to be able to be able to watch the kids trimming the tree, and listen to the family scene around her.
The party was really, really nice. Thanks to Sandy for setting the scene for it! He had invited a favorite few of the "tea people" but not enough to change the family-party feeling. Oscar was so glad to be there; he's by himself at home because Paulette is up in Montreal dealing with a very difficult family situation. Nancy and Wendell and Heather, Madelyn and Joe, Rebecca and Alex and Zach and Asher, Sarah, Mariah and her boyfriend Nick, Greg, Zelosi and Tamara and their husbands, and Olaf and Pam and Sophia (Stefan was at a rock concert.)
We sang some carols with Andy's piano accompaniment and Oscar's mandolin. If the key wasn't too difficult Oscar could pick out the melody quite well.
With the extra strength prescription Ibuprofun every six hours, the pain in my mouth was quite manageable through the Christmas holidays.
Mom was still suffering from the after-effects of a swollen ankle. She was more subdued than I remember her being before, during most of the visit. But she seemed to enjoy having family around her, especially the children.
On December 24th there was a caregiver, a new young woman named Ebony, who seemed a quite proficcient and reasonable person. So I was able to walk down the hill to get presents. When I got down the hill I realized that I needed a pain pill badly, but they are supposed to be taken with food, and what soupy food could I find to have with it? A lovely plate of polenta, made more soupy by the obliging chef at Nico's (a restaurant near the original Peet's) was a great solution.
There was such a lively scene along that part of Shattuck, food trucks with a long line at the one with latkes; I wished I'd bought my camera. In the space where Black Oak Books used to be, there were now two businesses, Caldwell-Banker realtors and Books Inc. I really enjoyed looking at piles of children's books, in the children's corner at Books, Inc. until I found some I loved enough to give to my great-niece and nephews.
Christmas Day at Campus Dr. was very nice. Around nine in the morning everyone started arriving. Mom did want to get up, because of the family being there, but still seemed to be more tired than usual and often during the day her head was resting forward on her hand.
Alex and Rebecca sauteed sausages for breakfast; Nancy had brought cinnamon rolls. I had made myself some potato-cheese-onion soup earlier, so that I wouldn't have to be pureeing things in front of everyone.
We opened the stockings. Zack delivered the presents.
Exciting news: Mariah has earned her architecture certificate!
Our Christmas dinner was buffet style. Madelyn and Nancy had both contributed dishes I could eat (a delicious pureed bean soup with sour cream and melted cheese in it from Madelyn, and fluffy mashed potatoes from Nancy.).
We had a nice big family group, though some left earlier and some arrived later due to other family celebrations. Sarah was able to bring her boyfriend Nick, and Mariah brought her Nick again. I like both of these young men very much, and was so pleased to see that they were both "still in the picture". Olaf and Pam brought both kids this time. (Stefan and Sophia are so pleasant, always act like they are having an enjoyable time....rare with teenagers!) Patrick and Katherine arrived later in the day with Dylan and Connor. It was really fun watching all these grandkids playing. We missed seeing Annabelle and Jack, who had taken the plane to have Christmas with their dad Kevin and his family.
Madelyn showing John the type of coffee pot she got. (I think.)
Here's the photo you wanted, Madelyn: Sarah reading to Asher and Zack
Pam, Olaf, and Sophia
Heather and Connor:
Katherine and Dylan
Sophia:
Dylan with puzzle blocks:
Greg with Dylan:
Using Skype, we were all able to visit with John and Kathy. Later, during the stocking/opening gifts time, Joseph had a long technical conversation with John, again over Skype. It definitely adds a dimension which is not there with a simple phone call.
Nancy and Wendell had brought a puzzle, a painting of a scene of baking cookies and all the ingredients, and it was set up on a table in the music room. It gave a pleasurable occupation for many hours. Nice idea for family gatherings.
Heather finds a piece she's been looking for:
In the evening Madelyn sang some songs, though her heart didn't seem to be that into it....I think she missed John's singing with her. Greg sang some also, and I did also. Mom was lying on the couch by then and commented on how much she liked the music.
Looking for a puzzle piece which fell on the floor:
Nancy finds it! (I love this photo😄)
And the puzzle is done.
Mom suddenly said, from the couch, "I think.....I know what would be a very good idea."
Madelyn asked, "What would that be, Teddy?"
"I think that we should send a message to Michelle Obama."
Tears came to my eyes. Madelyn went and sat beside her and asked what she would like to say in the message, and offered to send an e-mail message to Michelle Obama, saying what our mom wanted to say. Mom didn't go on to elaborate, she seemed too tired to go on to think just what it was she wanted to say. But it was very touching nevertheless.
Monday morning it was good to see Karina, and I gave her a Christmas bonus after discussing the idea with Sandy. I also left something extra for Monisha, because Sandy said that every since she started three months ago, she has been both satisfactory and reliable. Sandy took me down the hill and we had a nice lunch at that little cafe he likes near the North Berkeley BART station. (Or rather, he had lunch and I had coffee, having eaten some stuff I'd pureed previously). I had a good trip home, though it was a full plane and I had a middle seat.
A very nice Christmas holiday!
Love,
Lennie
